Samsung new phone is Well Weapon

Have you ever used the phrase “Well Mexico”? Or even “Well Weapon”? Have you? If you have it’s odds-on you’re a fan of the much lamented Channel 4 show Nathan Barley. If you haven’t you need to know that it was a coruscating study of east London fashion victims. Or as they were dubbed by creator Charlie Brooker "self-facilitating media nodes", with the programme destroying with extreme prejudice this crap coterie's excruciating and pig-thick attempts to be cool and edgy.

The show didn’t run for long, with poor ratings ensuring that a second series never arrived. For those who keep the faith however one of its highlights was the souped-up Wasp phone that the series' super villain Nathan Barley favoured. Here it is in all its gaudy glory:


What a monstrosity. But someone, somewhere didn’t get the joke. And that someone appears to be Samsung. At the Mobile World Congress this week it unveiled its Beat phones, which in their laboured attempts at cool seem to be aimed at Nathan Barleys the world over.

The phones feature a scratch mode that lets you move your fingers over the handset and in theory cut up the records like you’re Terminator X. Of course in reality this is nothing more than a shonky sound effect that you’re bored of trying out after about five minutes

It’s less a function and more akin to those novelty presents that you get from unimaginative friends that feature Mr T saying six fun phrases. The difference is Mr T saying “Quit Your Jibba Jabba” will never get old.